What if Aeris hadn't been murdered?
by Chocobochick
Summary: What if Aeris hadn't been killed by Sephiroth? How would Tifa's relationship with Cloud suffer? *spoilers* any flames about Tifa can be e-mailed to me - i will reply -, alternatively, if you are a Tifa lover don't read it. Please R&R ^.^


What if aeris hadn't been murdered by sephiroth? How would tifas relationship with cloud suffer? Read on to find out  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story. They are owned by squaresoft, so don't come barking to me.  
  
::Cloud and Tifa are pashing and Aeris walks in::  
  
Aeris: Ahem! What do you think you are doing? Get of him Tifa he's mine!  
  
Tifa: Huh! What! Wait a minute! I paid Sephiroth one million gil to kill you! I saw you die your supposed to be dead!!!!!!  
  
Aeris: Remember you can't kill an ancient we live forever. So get off my Guy!!!  
  
Cloud: Hey hey ladies there's enough of me to go around.  
  
Aeris: Oh no there isn't I've seen the size of "Super Cloud" and there can only be one of us. And it should be me, at least Clouds first lover didn't have to die before I came along!!  
  
Tifa: Well at least I don't have a gaping hole in my stomach!!  
  
Aeris: Well at least each of my boobs isn't as big as my head!!  
  
Tifa: YEAH!!  
  
Aeris: YEAH!!!!!!  
  
*Aeris and Tifa start fighting, clawing and pinching and scratching and basically doing what two girls in a cat fight do*  
  
Cloud: Help!  
  
::Red xiii walks in::  
  
Red: Hey cloud what's with those two?  
  
Cloud: *in a satisisfied tone* They're fighting over me  
  
Red: Why?  
  
Cloud: well Aeris is meant to be dead so it kinda wrecks everything between me and tifa. What should I do?  
  
:: Yuffie walks in::  
  
Yuffie: have a threesome.  
  
Red: I don't think that's quite the idea. Besides you're too young to deal with this sort of thing so get out of here  
  
Yuffie: you may be 48 years old, but that means you are the same age as me if bugenhagen is right, so I'm staying. *defiant tone*  
  
::Meanwhile Tifa and Aeris are still fighting::  
  
Yuffie: Hey I have an idea of what to do with those two..  
  
:: Two hours later::  
  
Cloud, Red, Yuffie, and Barret and Cid (who arrived later): Come one come all and see the amazing scrag fighting girls!! Only 1000 gil for entry!!  
  
Crowd: SCRAG FIGHT!!! SCRAG FIGHT!! SCRAG FIGHT!!  
  
Cloud: In the red corner we have Tifa "Big Boobs" and in the Black corner we have "Undead" Aeris!!!! LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!  
  
::Bell ding-dings:: ::Aeris and Tifa launch themselves at each other and start fighting::  
  
::Meanwhile::  
  
Yuffie: Wow!! Look at all the money! Think of the materia we can get for that!!!  
  
Red: Uh, maybe its just me, but if it isn't possible to kill an ancient wouldn't that mean that Aeris will kill Tifa in the end?  
  
Yuffie: Yeah you're right... but on the upside we get rid of Miss "Big Boobs"  
  
Red: That's terrible!! We have to help tifa!!  
  
::Sephiroth walks into the mass of people::  
  
Yuffie: Hey look isn't that Sephiroth?  
  
Red: Yeah  
  
Yuffie: Didn't we kill him  
  
Red: I don't know.  
  
Yuffie: The game had some strange bits but I'm pretty sure we killed him  
  
Red: Lets go see him  
  
Yuffie: Alright  
  
::They wade though the people an finally reach sephiroth::  
  
Yuffie: Hi, sephiroth didn't we kill you? Oh I see you still have that masamune with you have you killed anyone lately? With size of that thing I'd be surprised if you hadn't. how many people have you poked in the eye lately with it?  
  
Red: ::Under his breath:: Yuffie, that's not how you talk to someone who could kill you in a single stroke.  
  
Yuffie: ::Under her breath, while she has a big phony grin on her face:: I'm trying to be nice that's how you treat someone of that power - c-a-r-e- f-u-l-l-y  
  
Red: ::In an extremely slimy voice:: How have you been doing lately, Sephiroth.  
  
Sephiroth: I was reduced to spirit energy again after you and your little cronies beat me up, but my will was too strong so I fought my way out of the lifestream and came back here to avenge myself  
  
Yuffie: ::In a slimy vice:: Really, charming, well.. Ah.. We have to be going.. now.. Because ... ah... Bye bye.  
  
::Red xiii and Yuffie run off into the crowd:: ::meanwhile::  
  
Tifa: Die! Bitch!  
  
Aeris: Sigh.. I always knew you were dumb, remember I CAN'T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: Crap..  
  
:: Cloud, Barrett and Cid jump in to the middle of the fight and grab hold of Tifa and Aeris::  
  
Cloud: STOP fighting!!!!  
  
Tifa & Aeris : But..  
  
Cloud: Stop it, the only reason I ever went out with either of is because I pitied you both, so there. Will you both shut up now.  
  
::Stunned silence::  
  
Cloud: In fact I don't even like girls, I LIKE GUYS!!!!!! FOR GOD SAKE!!!! AND I AM GOING OUT WITH VINCENT!!! SO THERE!!!!  
  
::More stunned silence::  
  
Tifa & Aeris: YOU USED ME!!!!!! ROAR!!!!!!!!  
  
::Vincent walks in::  
  
Vincent: its time to go to the movies Cloud, are you ready?  
  
Cloud: yeah ok let's go  
  
::Vincent and Cloud walk out together holding hands::  
  
::Still more stunned silence::  
  
Aeris: Hey, uh tifa wanna to be friends again?  
  
Tifa: Yeah, it looks like we have no choice  
  
~Fin~ 


End file.
